First and foremost is my relationship with my husband. We are approaching our fourth wedding anniversary, and we have been together almost seven years. The first time I met him was at the YMCA in a yoga class. I overheard him talking to the instructor about feeling the need to settle
down with someone instead of just dating. I RAN in the opposite direction! I was NOT interested in a serious relationship. After several months, he asked me out and we have been inseparable ever since. I tell this back story to explain my reasoning for changing my mind. After my divorce, I had no interest in a serious commitment. It did not go well the first time so why should I do it again? During my marriage, I had a very jaded view of other people, few friendships, and a pessimistic outlook. After my divorce, I had just begun to interact with other people, redevelop social skills, and appreciate the gifts people bring to the table. It took months for me to be able to honestly communicate with someone new on a deeper level. Now, we have an open and honest relationship based on frequent communication. My husband taught me to communicate with him and other people in an effective manner. Because of his influence and often brutal honesty, I treasure relationships with people that tell me the truth. I do not always like what they say, and I do not always respond kindly or with gratitude. However, I never worry about where they stand or how they feel.
My relationship with my teenage boys (brace yourself) is FANTASTIC.
I really thought we would never make it through ages 8 to 12, but we did! I now have a 15 and 16 year old, and I adore them. I am a very open parent. There is nothing they can't ask me and nothing I won't discuss. Again, honestly without cruelty is the key component to my relationship with them. Another relationship that I greatly treasure is my best friend. She and I met through work and immediately clicked. Her child was in my classroom and she was soon employed with us. Again, honesty is they key in this relationship. I can say anything around her and there's no offense taken. I do not have to pretend to be in a good mood if I'm having a terrible day. I can simply be myself no matter how wonderful or irritable I am that day.
These relationships all lead to the idea of partnerships. My husband is my partner in my current and future life. We make parenting decision and plans together. We openly talk about struggles at work and with other people. My boys are my partners in my current and past life. We have a history. They have been through my divorce. They have watched me achieve a college degree and climb up the career ladder. They walked my down the aisle and gave me away to my husband. My best friend is my partner in negotiating work and personal situations.
How does this relate to early childhood family partnerships and relationships? In order to have productive relationships with families, early childhood caregivers must have healthy relationships in their own personal lives. We need to create collaborative relationships with parents, but at the same time professional boundaries must be maintained. Having healthy attachments and partnerships in your personal life allows you to have someone else to share experiences with. This can be a stressful career choice therefor, having these relationships in place to support yourself is necessary. Being able to successfully negotiate personal relationships aids in successful negotiation in professional relationships with parents.
