My Mother--Annette
She was by no means perfect, and we fought often.
Her support did not come in the form of "you can
do it" and "good job." Instead, it sounded more like
"you can do better" and " that was adequate." This
sounds harsh, but it wasn't. "You can do better"
simply meant "That was good, but you're smart
enough to push yourself." So, I learned to push,
to persist, and to be resilient. Self pity was never
allowed in my home. She made me tough enough
to stand up for myself and soft enough to help
others in need. She made me reflect on my
imperfections and find areas for improvement.
She was an impressive and gracious no-nonsense
lady until the day she died.
My Father--Hilton Contrary to my mother, my father was my cheerleader. He taught me to play football, change a tire, build things, make repairs, and work on cars. I am an only child. I'm sure he wanted a boy, but he got a tiny, mouthy little girl instead. My life was filled with Barbi dolls living in lego houses. My room was filled with frilly lace curtains and power tools. I'm not sure he made a conscious decision to raise me this way, but none the less that's what happened. Because of him, I can paint walls, fill holes in drywall, build a deck, and throw a football. When God gave me two rowdy boys, the drywall repair knowledge became extremely useful!
My Grandma--Barbera
I didn't realize it as a child, but my grandma (my mother's mom) was an extremely quirky person. I thought she was funny, but now I realize that she was REALLY funny. She taught me to cook, to clean, to recycle, to create, to walk, to garden, and to sew. I still sew on her sewing machine which is now 50 years old. I was fascinated by how many sewing pins she could hold between her teeth. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized she was holding them in the gap in her front teeth. There was very little she couldn't do, and everything she did she did well. My Grandma also gave me a place to go. My mother and I fought a lot, and my mom needed frequent breaks from my strong personality. My grandma rarely agreed with me, but she gave me a place to land, and she taught me to work with my hands to sort out my worries.
My Great Aunt Betty--My mother's aunt
My aunt Betty was and still is the most strong willed, formidable woman I have ever met. She was the first woman in our family to earn a college degree. She was also one of the first female executives in the city of Atlanta. She was sharp, intelligent, and quick witted. She taught me to be discerning. At 95, she is still an active member of the Pilot Women's Club in Atlanta. She took me to meetings as a child and introduced me to some of the most powerful female executives, attorneys, judges, and politicians in the city. She made me brave enough to speak up against injustices and to fight for the rights of my employees to work in and fair environment. She recently (at 95) told me that she needs to sell her house and move to assisted living because home ownership is slowing her down. She has truly lived to accomplish her goals and set a phenomenal example for me.
My Aunt Debbie--my Father's sister
My aunt Debbie gives all new meaning to the word 'head strong.' She is the oldest of five children and by far the most in charge. She's also the reason I chose to go into preschool education and to work for Head Start. Growing up I watched her move from a high school graduate and stay at home mother to a well educated Head Start director. She lead with strength, firmness, kindness,and compassion all to improve the lives of children. I have never wanted to be anything but a teacher and she set en example like none other. Since my mother has passed, she has been my cheerleader as I navigate this rewarding but difficult journey with the best program ever to have been created during the War on Poverty.
As I'm sure you notice, all of my influences are strong, intelligent people. A trailblazer, a nurturer, a leader, and an educator. I admire them all deeply and appreciate the attributes they have each given me. Because of each of them, I can advocate, speak up, lead, create, and, of course, fix my own plumbing! Any given day, you can find me leading a seminar, creating play-dough snakes with a three year old, or helping my janitor scrub the bathroom. From them, I learned that no job is too big or small and you're never too important to do what needs to be done.
