An Abusive Relationship

     A childhood friend was in an abusive relationship as a teenager. Obviously, this was not her early childhood but since teenagers are still children, it had a significant impact on her identity as an adult. She began dating a man much older than her and eventually moved in with him. Much too young to be in a serious relationship, she did not realize the trap she was walking into. In short time, he began to throw punches, push, shove, and rape her.  One night he beat her and put her in the hospital.  She tried to commit suicide while in the hospital and was placed on a three day hold.  She moved back home and began a medication regimen that left her tired and dazed.  She pressed charges and he was placed in jail. Unfortunately, he was released and beat his new fiance with an electric guitar on their wedding night until he nearly killed her.

     How has this affected my friend's adult life more than 15 years later? She still talks about the beatings she received, the fear she has of running into him in our town, and the PTSD she experiences when her now husband raises his voice or hints at being upset.  Although her husband is an amazing, even tempered man, he still has emotions just as we all do.  However, he knows to be careful about any sudden physical movement, yelling, or getting angry in her presence.  It sends her into a physical and emotional spiral of crying and self doubt. She has issues with lacking confidence and questions her own ability as a mother and wife quite often. Because this boyfriend also cheated on her, she has an underlying fear of that happening again. As a result, she has learned to be very honest with her husband if she thinks a friendship is getting out of hand. 

     The adult she is today would never consider entering into that kind of relationship now. She has become a strong, wise woman. She works in social services, and I often wonder if this experience is what makes her so passionate and great at her job.  She is able to connect with mothers and wives that are abused. She shares a true empathy and gives them hope for what the can become.

                               

                               Violence in Juarez, Mexico and Children's Health

     Juarez was once (2010) considered the murder capitol of the world for its excessively high rate of deaths related to drug violence.  Since then, children's mental and physical health has been a concern.  A comparison study between Juarez (3000 murders in a year) and El Paso (5 murders in a year) was conducted on the two neighboring cities.  Child behavioral checklists were completed by parents for over 600 children.  The children in Mexico had a higher prevalence of aggression, depression, anxiety, withdrawal, and attention deficit disorder. Their rates were three times higher than those in El Paso.  The behavioral issues of the children in Juarez closely aligned with the behaviors of children with brain injuries and those exposed to drug use.  Lanier (2015) also notes that Mexico does not censor violent images such as mutilation on the news. Even children not exposed directly to violence are indirectly exposed through media.  Lanier (2015) writes that "behavior issues like aggression may become an issue as the chidlren grow older" (https://www.sciencedaily .com/releases /2015/12/ 151211145100.htm).  

   
                                      
                                      12 year old killed on drug related crossfire

     The majority of the images were too gruesome to upload. I had to stop looking after only a few minutes.  Children are exposed to mutilated and dismembered torsos, decapitated heads,and bodies strewn on the sidewalks.  As you can see from the map, this is not happening across the world somewhere. This is happening just minutes from the United States.  So, here is my pro immigration stance: Rather than build a wall to stop the flood of people into the United States and thereby trapping thousands of innocent children in this torture chamber, we should spend the money on assisting Mexico with cleaning up their streets from the cartel.

                                                                          References

Leiner, Marie. (2015). Science Daily. Violence in mexico affected children's mental health.
     Retrieved from: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/12/151211145100.htm