Communication Analysis

My Communication Styles 

     Comparing my analysis of my own communication style to other's analysis of my communication style was quite interesting. It was not, however, interesting in the manner I thought it would be. When I completed the communication anxiety, verbal aggression, and listening profiles, I did so with my professional communication skills in mind which are admittedly better than my communication skills at home. I decided to do them with my home communication skills in mind on the listening and verbal aggression sections. I scored much worse in both of those with my home communication skills in mind. As a result, I asked my family, who very rarely sees me in a professional setting or public speaking engagements, to complete all three. I really thought they would score me higher in verbal aggression than and listening based on my home communication skills. I even assured them that I would only see scores and not answers. I also left the room while they completed it. They were also responsible for printing the sheets and placing them in an envelope to give to me after every one was done. I tried to give them an opportunity to be anonymously honest with me about how I communicate at home. They all told me the scores and who gave them. 

     I truly feel like I am significantly more aggressive because I am more comfortable at home. Apparently, they do not see it that way. They ranked me almost completely in line with my own assessment of my professional communication skills. The following shows their scores and my second scores with my home communication in mind. 

The rankings were as follows: 

My husband: 

Communication Anxiety 22

        Verbal Aggressiveness Scale  68

 Listening Styles Profile  32

My oldest son: 

Communication Anxiety 23

        Verbal Aggressiveness Scale  61

 Listening Styles Profile  56

My youngest son: 

Communication Anxiety 29

       Verbal Aggressiveness Scale  58

 Listening Styles Profile  42

My scores: 

Communication Anxiety 28

        Verbal Aggressiveness Scale  70

Listening Styles Profile  9

     I am not at all surprised that my husband gave me the highest score in verbal aggression because he is often the one that gets to hear my frustrations and uncontrolled thoughts about how other people act. However, he did note that its not directed at him and that he found that filling this out was really difficult. They all ranked me as people-oriented in my listening style while I consider my home listening style to be more time oriented. At work, my job is to listen. At home, I have so much to do that I feel like I do not listen well and I cut them off mid story.

     Although their assessments were much more flattering than I expected, I still see room for improvement. If I view my home communication as aggressive, then I need to change them. I believe that many of the verbal exchanges I have with my family leave me with regret, so regardless of their view, I need to tone it down. My goal would be to communicate more without raising my voice. Another goal would be to listen without a timeline which is going to be difficult. I am always moving, doing, going, and running. Sometimes I realize, even if they do not, that I did not fully comprehend the story my son just told me. I need to be more present, more aware, and more attentive by simply stopping for a few minutes and listening.