Cultural Communication

Cultural Communication

     On a daily basis, I interact with hundreds of people including parents, children, co-workers, family members, and community members. As a result, I also interact with a variety of race, religions, nationalities, sexual orientation, and abilities. Within the sub-culture of my workplace, I interact with persons of varying levels of employment and management. 

     In these broader areas, I suppose I interact with people differently but not necessarily based on their category. I base my communication and interaction with people on what works best for them, how long we have known each other, their personality, and their communication needs. I try to communicate with people in as friendly and open a manner as possible. 

     My interactions within my organization are something of which I am very aware. I remain professional whether they are the director, a teacher, an assistant teacher, or the janitor. I do my best to communicate to everyone that their ideas matter regardless of their position. However, I am well aware that I am more casual with my own staff than I am with someone else's staff. I am much more formal with my supervisors, board members, and managers than I am with people on the same level as myself. 

     

     When communicating with anyone whether work related or personal, I communicate with respect, an assumption of knowledge, and a tone that conveys concern even if I do not agree with that person. 

First, I do my best to communicate with respect. I avoid name-calling, labels, and accusations. Second, I assume that the person to whom I am speaking is intelligent and has some level of knowledge. There is nothing worse to me than being spoken to a if I am not intelligent, and I would never want to do this to someone else. Third, I try to convey concern even if I do not find the person's view to be valid and founded. Clearly, if they are sharing something with me they have a concern.

    I am well-aware of how negative communication feels especially right now as there is a negative communicator in my life. As I progress through this week, I will actually be tackling this issue head on. There is a very real possibility that this choice could cost me my job, but I can not longer allow someone to use hostile communication towards me, my staff, or my colleagues simply because they are in a position of power. I ask for your support, thoughts, and prayers this week. 

     

Verbal and Nonverbal Communication 

I chose to watch the new show "Black-ish." Not because it is not something I would not normally watch but because it is something that I have never watched before. After watching the first episode, I will most likely continue to watch the show. Even without the sound on, it was really funny and contains pertinent views of culture in the United States.

Without the sound, it is still evident that this family of six practices a great deal of sarcasm in their communication with one another. There is also an air of confidence from the character of the father. The grandfather, played by Laurence Fishburne, displays a really laid back style of communication often seen sitting in a chair drinking a beer. The mother/wife displays facial expressions and body language that convey irritation and disapproval of the father's actions. In one scene in the laundry room, her eyes are bulging out, she leans forwards, waves her arms, contorts her face into an expression of anger and seems to be yelling at the dad as he stands with a confused expression on his own face.

With the sound on, the father's communication is much more clear. He displays confidence at his job but clearly has many conflicts with his role in an all-white upper class neighborhood and job setting. His verbal communication conveys amazement and dismay at the odd dynamics between him and his co-workers, his son's choice of sports and friends, and his family's willingness to let go of their culture.

When I watched the show with the sound off, his sarcasm was abundantly clear and that was proven once the sound was on. My assumptions about the grandfather were wrong. His non-verbal communication was casual, but his verbal communication was really aggressive and grumpy. My assumptions about the wife, were spot-on. However, some of this is rooted in my knowledge of the actress. I have listened to her as a public speaker on a few occasions and am familiar with her verbal communication style. Her character has many of the same mannerisms, speech patterns, and phrasing as the actress. 

Obviously, if I had been watching a show I know well such as Law and Order SVU, I would have had a much more accurate read on the regular character's nonverbal communications. I am quite familiar with their facial expressions, movements, and gestures. A show such as the one I chose to watch was completely unfamiliar to me. The "aha" moment came from wrapping my previous knowledge of the actors into their characters which mislead me on the nature of the grandfather. Professionally, we can often make assumptions about people's character based on their nonverbal communication. For example, I have a reputation as being very aggressive because I walk very quickly and move with purpose and intensity. The truth is, I am not aggressive. I'm actually fairly calm most of the time.  The same can be said for working with children and families. We can not make assumptions about the intentions and character of a parent or a child based solely on nonverbal communication. Parents may appear angry when they are simply tired from a long day of work. We must always look beyond the obvious and ask questions for clarification.

Communication 

     The question for this week's blog asks us to think about someone after which we would want to model our own communication style. I really did not have to think on this one for very long. The Executive Director of my agency  has a communication style that I really admire. She has a strong and commanding personality and presence. I would like to think that I do as well. However, she is far more diplomatic, and therefore more effective, than I am.
     I am not a great nor diplomatic communicator when placed in an unscripted situation. I have no problem with pre-planned or scripted public speaking or even unscripted question and answer situations within my area of expertise. I do not do well in awkward disciplinary situations with staff planned or unplanned. Most of the time, I feel like Bart Simpson in the image below.
 

 

     She, however, is impressive in her command of these situations. Last school year, I had the privilege of participating in a meeting with her and a staff member over a very delicate situation. She made the staff member feel comfortable,valued, and heard while still remaining firm on the company policy. The staff member plead her case and although she did not get what she wanted, she felt as though she had been heard and appreciated. Some of the effective communication styles I noticed from my Executive Director were that she maintained an open posture, kept consistent eye contact, and leaned forward when the staff member was speaking. At no point, did she become defensive about the staff member's questioning of the policy or predicament.

     Recently, she lead an improvement meeting of managers and coordinators. She asked about or challenges, our concerns, and our ideas. She listened and spoke very little except to ask prompting questions. What began as a 30 minute session lasted for an hour. With very little speaking, she drew an incredible amount of honest information out of the administrative team. When I left that meeting, I said to my coworkers "That was by far the most productive and fulfilling meeting I have ever been in." Here, her communication style followed the "less is more" philosophy. She appeared comfortable with our silence while we were thinking. She was also accepting of our ideas and concerns even if she may not have agreed with all of them.
     I have been with our agency for almost 8 years and I have seen tremendous improvement with her at the helm. No doubt, her style of communication has a great deal to do with this progress!

Professional Hopes and Goals

After the recent event with a parent that I referenced in my discussion post, my hope is that we all not only become anti-biased educators but that we also find a way to teach others, such as the parents of our students, to be eradicate their biases. My center is a fairly happy and harmonious place where most families get along well and work together.  However, recent events such as the one this past week remind me that there are still ripples and waves of racism in our midst.  
                                   

My personal goal is to be able to handle these situations with grace while preserving the dignity of every parent in the situation. I was thoroughly caught off-guard by the microaggression displayed by this parent, but I stood my ground. I just wish that I had the skills to turn it into an educational opportunity or the parent rather than a "shut-down" type of situation. For the early childhood field as a whole, I would love to see more training on how to handle these types of situations, more writings and articles about how to prevent them, and more stories of how others have dealt with the "isms" in their educational settings. 

I certainly want to thank all of you for your insights this term. This course has been eye opening and I consider it a privilege to have experienced it with all of you! I truly appreciate the diversity within our own group and the perspectives that you have ll brought to the discussions and blogs. I could not have possibly had a better group of colleagues with which to share this course, I am humbled by your experiences and the lessons I have learned form all of you. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! 

Welcoming Families from Around the World

I chose to feature a family from Senegal. We have had a family from this area in our center before I became an administrator. I was a teacher in another room, so I did not have that many experiences with this child. However, there are several families from this country in our area. As the administrator for my center, I am now be at the forefront of welcoming families from this country and many others as they enter our program.
                                  
My first order of business is to be welcoming. I would be just as warm and welcoming as I would with any other family. We try our best to create a comfortable environment for all families with a friendly greeting and positive atmosphere.

As part of our enrollment an registration process, we are sure to ask of every family if there are any dietary restrictions for either allergies or religious purposes. Research shows that 92% of Senegal is Muslim and as such do not eat pork. We work with our local school system to have nutritious meals brought into the center. They are easily able to make substitutions for students with dietary needs such as these. I would assure the family that not only would a proper protein substitution be made but that it would be done so discreetly.

We also ask for proper proof of age documentation. The issues we encounter with birth certificates from other countries are twofold. First, we may not be able to read them although dates are usually easy to decipher. Second, the birth certificate may not exist at all. However, we are able to work around these issues with other forms of proof of age such as immunization records or immunization waivers.

Immunization waivers are also fairy common but not always something that is guaranteed. In the event that the family has a waiver, they would be assured that their child would still be safe. However, I would be sure to ask if there are any health concerns that I need to be aware of. In the past, the parents of a child with a waiver wish to be notified if certain communicable diseases enter the facility.

During the registration process, we spend a great deal of time with the family. I would be sure to ask questions about holiday observances, dietary needs, and religious holiday absences. In our past experiences, the family we had did not oppose our slight nods to the holidays of the dominant culture.

                                        

Another area that may need consideration is the area of language. The primary language of Senegal is French. The family we had many years ago spoke English fluently and did not need a translator. However, that may not be the case with all families from Senegal. There may be a need for a translator which can be provided for free by our local school system.

Being fully prepared for a family from Senegal or any other country is important. This shows respect for that family and all other families that enter the program. Any information gleaned from research or conversations with the family would be shared with teaching staff to enable them to provide the best care possible. Food service staff would need to be made fully aware of the child's dietary needs well before hand to ensure that the appropriate foods are on hand for the child.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

       When I was a child, maybe first or second grade, I became friends with a girl of a different race. There were not many African-Americans in our small Georgia town and they were mostly friends with one another. This girl and I sat near one another in our class and quickly became friends. We played on the playground together and ate lunch together in the cafeteria every day. It never occurred to me that this was not acceptable to my peers. At some point, I became aware of stares and whispers from other children and eventually from their parents. I can only assume that the other children had told their parents that I was friends with her and they did not approve. In that moment, as a six or seven year old child, I had to make a decision as to whether or not I cared what they thought. I decided I did not. I distinctly remember standing in the school hallway with its green walls and brown carpet with my friend. Another child asked me "Why are you friends with her? She's black!" Well, I have always been blessed with a vicious attitude even at age 6, so I yelled "SHUT-UP!" at the other girl. I promptly got in trouble with the teacher. I still didn't care. 

                                                        

      I do not think that in that moment I changed anyone's mind or effected any great social change, but I stood up for myself and for my friend. In that moment, I maintained my own standards for what was right regardless of what anyone else thought. I don't recall if the teacher called my parents over the incident, but I do not recall getting into trouble with them for it. If she did call, they certainly didn't feel like it was worth addressing. As I grew older, I realized there were many occurrences when I was reprimanded by school administration that my parents never felt the need to address with me. I suppose they did not feel as though it was a wise expenditure of their time! 

Microaggressions in Everyday Life

     My son is dating a girl from work. As a child, her hand was amputated. She is a cashier at the local grocery store and a good one. However, I have heard many well-meaning customers make comments such as "Wow, look at her go. She's fast!" Truthfully, she is faster at her job than many of the other cashiers, but the implication behind their statements is that she's fast for a girl with one hand. These customers are paying her what they believe to be a genuine compliment, but she does not see it that way. She has reached the point where she just does not acknowledge the comment and pretends she did not hear it.  When my son or I hear these comments, we just shake our heads, and I am sure that we have an expression on our faces that says "That was a stupid thing to say." Out of respect for her, we do not make a scene or say anything. She has become so accustomed to it, she no longer reacts.  

                                                      

     Clearly, the underlying assumption here is that she should be slow or slower at her job because she has a missing hand. As I reflect on her situation, it occurs to me that she may be working harder at her job than others because of her disability. If she worked at the same pace or at a slower pace, she could believe that this will be blamed on her disability. If she works faster and more efficiently than the others, she could be seen as overcompensating for her disability. Either way, she opens herself up to microaggressive comments from customers and co-workers. Although these customers are truly trying to be supportive, they inadvertently put a spot-light on her for her disability. They also take credit away from other cashiers that work just a hard as she does. This causes an underlying tension with other co-workers that she does not deserve or ask for. 

                                                       

     This is what microaggression does among many other things. The victim is sometimes placed in an unwanted spot-light, forced into an unwanted conversation with the aggressor, or forced to ignore the aggressor all-together. In a few instances, she has ignored the person that believes they are paying her a compliment. Sometimes, the person does not pursue the conversation but other times they get offended that she ignores them or does not say "Thank you." Basically, she receives an unwanted compliment and has to choose to respond or ignore and then face the consequences of either. It is an odd predicament that she is placed in daily.